Olympic-Gate 2008

I find it interesting that the Summer Olympic Games are on the same four year cycle as the U.S. Presidential election. I’ve often wondered if this is a mere coincidence or a more sinister plot. I think the powers that be decided to slide in a touch of American pride, i.e. the Olympic Games, prior to the nastiness of a general election. We unify for the Olympic Games and then detach for the general election. Walking a fine line between love and hate is certainly a wonderful exercise in confusion and something we experience every four years at precisely the same time. Throw in a leap year and we’ve definitely have something worthy of a conspiracy theory or at the very least, a political gate of some sort.



I follow sports a little more vigorously than politics yet nevertheless, I find myself drawn strangely to this election in much the same way as my newfound appreciation for synchronized diving. Well, you know, not really. I just can’t get into synchronized anything. It really is quite frustrating, tuning into a worldwide sporting event and having to watch two divers mock each other repeatedly, yet I point out the bad posture and the unsynchronized synchronization with the rest of the prime time viewership waiting on Michael Phelps to race. Don’t we all?



What has captured me during this political cycle, however, is the doom and gloom that surround our presidential election. It seems to me both parties are standing cliff side waiting on the other to push them into the sea (ala the lemmings and their ill-fated natural instincts bent on suicidal fortitude). How I love the oxymoron. The party lines this year are drawn deeper and stronger than ever before and the athletes, uh the politicians, are poised and ready to snap to attention and race towards November. The one question I have is simply; who has the dag-blasted baton?



It seems recently, in honor of the Olympic Games, our presidential candidates have invented a new sport in which there is but one rule; who can answer a question in the most round-about, dim-witted way without tipping off the constituent or looking like a tool in the process. Affectionately known as screw-balling, this new sport will seek Olympic accreditation for implementation in the London 2012 Games. Rumor has it; Barrack Obama will be our coach and biggest hope for a metal in this event. His main rival, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran is all ready talking smack but fear not, the United States is a heavy odds-on favorite and Obama is wasting no time sharpening his skills by attending every town hall meeting in all 57 states.



Perhaps I am politically jaded but as a majority of Americans are counting down the Bush presidency with gleeful undertones, I can’t help but point to the two presumptuous senators holding sticks of dynamite in one hand and a bunch of empty promises in the other. What happens when the clock strikes zero is a question worthy of asking if you don’t subscribe to the politics of screw-balling and you want honest answers to simple questions that will affect your vote.

From synchronized diving to synchronized implying, the politics of straight-talking change to believe in will be screw-balling to a city near you. How’s that for Olympic follow-up? Go Cubs! Just a thought.